Well, this was fun to write. Just wanted to see if I could get the tone of a child down right. Well, a child who's too smart for his own good, anyway. Take note: My own childhood has no resemblance to this at all.
When Mommy told me she was taking me to the doctor's today to get a checkup, I wanted to scream and cry and kick my legs. But I didn't. Because I did exactly that the last time I had to go to the doctor and Mommy got angry and started yelling and told me that I was being difficult. It made her cranky that day so I didn't get any cookies or McDonald's or anything nice, plus I ended up going to the doctor's anyway because Mommy picked me up and carried me to the car no matter how much I tried to wriggle like a caterpillar out from her arms.
So instead of being difficult, I just gave Mommy a pouty face and crossed my arms so she would know I was not happy about it. Seeing my pouty face and crossed arms, Mommy compromised with me and said she would get me ice cream afterwards if I behaved and wasn't difficult. Ain't I such a smart nine year old to know the word “compromise”? It's a grown up word Mommy taught me and it's a thing grown ups do to get along with each other. Daddy taught me the words “selfish” and “society”, which have to do with the word “compromise”. Selfish people always want things their own way and never compromise and nobody likes selfish people because if people never compromised then society, which means all the people living with each other, would be a disaster like earthquakes or tornadoes, which are obviously not good things.
Mommy and Daddy tell me lots of things and talk to me like I'm a grown up just like them. When I don't get something they say, they try to explain it to me. I like that very much. I very much hate it when a grown up talks to me like I'm stupid, like I won't get anything they say. Just because I'm nine years old doesn't mean I don't have eyes or ears! I'm living in the same world as them!
Anyway, I am “digressing”. Another grown up word! My teacher used that word when she read my diary. She likes reading it and tells me I should keep on writing. The word “digressing” means to not get on with a story and talk about lots of things that have nothing to do with it and aren't important. But I think the things I am digressing on are things that are important! But my teacher said I shouldn't digress too much when writing so I will stop and get on with the story.
So after Mommy compromised with me, I decided that I would behave real well since I really like ice cream! We went to the garage where the Chevy Lumina van was and I didn't have to be carried this time. We got in, put on our seatbelt, and zoom! We were off!
On our way to the doctor's, Mommy took out a pack of her favorite Camel cigarettes and then started smoking one of them with the windows open. I didn't feel good about it. Because I remembered my friend Cody's grandmother, who was our neighbor and coughed a lot, and how I always saw her smoking cigarettes (her favorite was Marlborough) in her front porch. Then one day, poof! She disappeared! I overheard Mommy and Daddy saying that she was in the hospital for lung cancer, which happens when you smoke a lot of cigarettes. And then later I heard that Cody's grandmother died. I remembered watching Cody's parents, who looked really sad, move stuff out of her house. Then the house was empty with a big sign that said “For Sale” in front of it. It was like somebody took a big eraser and wiped it over Cody's grandmother.
I didn't want Mommy to get lung cancer and then have a big eraser wipe over her. So I asked her, “Mommy, why do you smoke cigarettes?” She said, “It makes me feel relaxed.”
We went back and forth like tennis balls.
“Aren't cigarettes bad for you, though?” “Yeah, it is a nasty habit.” “Then why don't you stop?” “Oh, I will, sooner or later.” “So what if I started smoking?” “You will absolutely not, not while you're around me, anyway.” “So why can you smoke and I can't?” “Because I'm a grown up, dear. We can make these decisions.” “But isn't part of being a grown up learning not to do things that are bad for you?” “Yes, but-” “Isn't that what Daddy said?” “Yes and he's right, but listen-” “Aren't you going to get lung cancer?” “Now, wait a minute, who said that?” “Isn't that what happened to Cody's grandmother and then she got erased?” “Well, yes, but you shouldn't say the word erased, hun. That's actually quite morbid of you.” “So why don't you stop?” “Like I said before, I will, soon, okay?” “Why don't you stop now?” “Oh GOD! I feel like I'm being interrogated by MY mother.”
The way Mommy said that last thing, I could tell she was becoming annoyed, like she does when I'm being difficult. So I shut my mouth and felt a little sad. We were both quiet for a while until Mommy did something that made me happy again. She took the pack of cigarettes and threw it out her window, although there was a lot left! She then smiled and said to me, “You know, you're right, hun. I should start quitting right now.” I felt like hugging her with lots of love, but she was driving so I didn't.
Oops, well I didn't write about the doctor's or the ice cream, but my hand is starting to hurt and I want to watch TV. The ice cream was really good, though! I got mint chocolate chip, which is the best flavor.
Okay, well, that's the end.
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2 comments:
This is my favorite entry so far. Have you read Jonathan Safran Foer's "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close"? The kid reminds me a lot of the nine-year-old in that book, except a little younger and less tragic.
That exchange between the kid and his mom was believably warm. You channeled the voices down pat.
I can't wait to see what's next.
I agree with Abe. This entry is terrifically toned and styled. And it does remarkably resemble "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close."
What I like most, Tom, is the fluidity, the lucidity. The kid digresses, narrates, talks to his mother, without awkwardly starting and stopping. It's as if dialogue and narration are combined.
Wonderful Tom.
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